An Australian “sexuality educator” has created a heated debate among online users for suggesting that parents ask a baby for permission before changing their diapers.
Deanne Carson argues that a “culture of consent” needs to start at birth, sparking curiosity and confusion from the online community, with one netizen asking if it’s also necessary to get “consent from your cat to change its litter tray.”
In a world where parenting techniques are evolving faster than ever, the topic of consent is making its way into unexpected areas, including diaper changes.
Asking a baby for consent before a changing a dirty nappy might sound impractical, mostly because newborns and infants lack the verbal skills to reply.
Baby changing. Credit / Shutterstock
Baby changing. Credit / Shutterstock
An Australian “sexuality educator” has created a heated debate among online users for suggesting that parents ask a baby for permission before changing their diapers.
Deanne Carson argues that a “culture of consent” needs to start at birth, sparking curiosity and confusion from the online community, with one netizen asking if it’s also necessary to get “consent from your cat to change its litter tray.”
In a world where parenting techniques are evolving faster than ever, the topic of consent is making its way into unexpected areas, including diaper changes.
Asking a baby for consent before a changing a dirty nappy might sound impractical, mostly because newborns and infants lack the verbal skills to reply.
by TaboolaSponsored Links
You May Like
Google Brain Co-Founder Andrew Ng, Recommends: Read These 5 Books And Turn Your Life Around
Blinkist: Andrew Ng’s Reading List
But Deanne Carson argues that it’s less about receiving a formal answer and more about setting the foundation for consent and respectful boundaries as early as possible.
According to Carson – who describes herself as a “sexuality educator, speaker, and author” on Twitter – a culture of consent needs to start at birth.
She explains the idea is to emphasize respect for the child’s body and autonomy. By narrating actions – like “I’m going to change your diaper now, is that okay?” – and pausing to read body language, parents can introduce infants to the concept of personal agency.
Building trust and communication
The self-proclaimed expert argues that this practice isn’t meant to wait for a verbal “yes” but to encourage a two-way communication path between parent and child.
“Of course, a baby is not going to respond, ‘yes mum, that is awesome, I’d love to have my nappy changed,” Carson said in an interview with Australia’s ABC network. “But if you leave a space and wait for body language and wait to make eye contact then you are letting that child know that their response matters.”
Pediatricians and early childhood experts often emphasize the value of responding to a baby’s non-verbal cues, like coos, giggles, or movements, as part of healthy communication. Incorporating consent into diaper changes aligns with this by making babies aware, on some level, of what is happening and involving them in the process.
“Of course, a baby is not going to respond, ‘yes mum, that is awesome, I’d love to have my nappy changed,” Carson said in an interview with Australia’s ABC network. “But if you leave a space and wait for body language and wait to make eye contact then you are letting that child know that their response matters.”
Pediatricians and early childhood experts often emphasize the value of responding to a baby’s non-verbal cues, like coos, giggles, or movements, as part of healthy communication. Incorporating consent into diaper changes aligns with this by making babies aware, on some level, of what is happening and involving them in the process.
A second offers, “A self-proclaimed ‘expert’ wants parents to ask permission before changing their child’s diaper. This tells me she has no experience with kids whatsoever.”
A third netizen responded to a clip shared on X, saying: “Do you need to get consent from your cat to change its litter tray? No. If it stinks change it. Same with a baby. If it does wee or pooh just change it!!!” And another adds, “Leaving a child in a dirty nappy is legally recognised as child abuse. Does this nut job believe in child abuse? She is more dangerous than those advocating for no jabs.”
https://x.com/sunriseon7/status/994684061892296704?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E994684061892296704%7Ctwgr%5E43b19142e2ad68daa21b616279de82bf16be93fb%7Ctwcon%5Es1_c10&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fen.newsner.com%2Ffamily%2Fexpert-tells-parents-to-ask-babys-consent-when-changing-diapers%2F
Some people however jumped to her defence and said Carson’s intentions were good even if the example she used was not.
One netizen writes, “I’m seriously shocked at the negative response you got to this…babies [and] toddlers learn to communicate well before they can speak. Thank you for tolerating the trolls to create dialogue about this. Even if you’re wrong, what possible harm is there [in] showing respect?”
A second comments, “I think she wants to encourage a conversation about consent amongst kids but has made a mockery of it by taking it to the extreme. Babies can’t consent to anything. Ever. They’re babies! Their safety and survival needs are assumed.”
Another pens, “I agree with Deanne Carson. Easy to chat to your baby. Easy to create a climate of consent in your home.”
While the debate continues, people agree that there’s value in being mindful and communicative with infants, even if it’s not strictly about consent.
Ultimately, the choice to “ask” for consent may come down to individual parenting styles and comfort levels. For some, asking for consent is just one more way to cultivate a respectful, loving relationship with their infants; for others, it may be enough to simply engage, observe, and respond to their baby’s needs.
